in the thick of it...almost

life as i know it is changing before my eyes

i *should* be graduating soon...in ~2-3 months i hope??

getting married in ~4 months

and starting to look for future employment...!

in anticipation of all that i've wished for and looked forward to for SOO LONG... i actually feel wistful. the thought often crosses my mind that i need to appreciate the days i have left of the life that i have become so comfortable in, because these days are numbered...and maybe life will never be this free from responsibility ever again. so this is the time to appreciate life, to spend time with friends, to exercise and cultivate healthy habits...

at the same time, the pressure of finishing up the degree weighs on me. i obsess over it. i need to set a date for the defense. the uncertainty of working towards an undefined deadline is both nerve-wracking and demotivating. i had a good talk with my advisor last week about graduating and he seemed to be on board with a may/june finish. the problem is...there is a lot to do, an insane amount for the time that remains. is it possible? i just need to do as much as i can before i set the date and the countdown begins.

meanwhile, weird dreams about wedding dresses, family, and photographers whirl around my head at night. wedding detail decisions need to be made. the cake, the rings, the vows...at least the invitations are almost done! and the bachelorette weekend is in motion! it would be so perfect if i could graduate before then, and just totally relax and enjoy. :)

patience. one thing at a time. first i need to put in the work.