married and oh so happy :)

july 10 2010 was the best day of my life. it sounds so cliche but it is just so true. it's one of those days whose happiness is so great and so full that it spills over into the days surrounding it and and shines out of every reminder of it- pictures, leftover cake, cards... a week later people said i was still glowing, and even now i get lost daydreaming back to that day.

i hope every couple feels this way about their wedding day. when i think about why i was so happy there are just so many things that come to mind- i was so thrilled and nervous to be marrying menzies, wondering about his vows, nervous that i was going to cry, nervous that i would be the only one not crying (since i am a robot and all). i was so incredibly excited to see EVERYONE and so happy that the most important people in my life had come all the way here to celebrate with us, nervous to let everyone see such a personal and intimate side, and also so proud and excited for everyone to just enjoy the day and see all the plans come to fruition.

a few things i was surprised by-

1) how emotional i was for the entire day!! it was a really new feeling for me. every sense was heightened, and i felt like i was on the verge of tears for the whole day… i even cried 3 times. very odd.

2) how helpless i was for most of the day. i needed so much help and i totally relied on my bridesmaids, my wedding coordinator, and my family to just get everything done and run the day for me. i couldn't even put on my shoes or go to the bathroom by myself. it is a strange feeling to arrive at this day that you have spent over a year planning every detail of, but totally not be in control and not want to be in control of the execution. to melanie (my amazing coordinator), i just said, just tell me where to go and what to do, and that was all that i could handle that day. frankly, i don't know how anyone could do it without at least a day-of coordinator. luckily, as far as i know, everything went as planned, though i have to admit that with all the excitement and the time passing so quickly, i barely noticed. i think i actually saw fewer of the wedding details and definitely had less of the food and drink than any of the guests. i only saw how great everything looked in the pictures and heard later that the food was yummy. :)

3) i was really surprised by what a hit the photo booth was! that was definitely a last minute vendor addition and i just find all of those pictures hilarious!

4) finally, one of the things that has really surprised me is that in marriage, something about my relationship with menzies feels different. of course, we have been committed and living together for quite some time already, so nothing in our daily lives has changed except that now i call him husband and he calls me wifey. the daily motions of us making food, going to lab, us living our lives together, is all back to the norm. yet a traditional streak has come out in me- suddenly i feel like i should be taking care of him, like i should learn to cook better so i can make us yummy dinners. i strangely don't mind doing more than my share of the dishes or his laundry because not everything has to be "fair" or divided exactly in half anymore. now it feels like when we talk about our plans, it is more concrete, so conversations like what we will do if i have to relocate for a job become less scary. i don't face things alone anymore. it's hard to explain because everything looks the same but feels a little different. i wonder if this we-are-a-team feeling comes out of any marriage ceremony or if it is a product of a big celebratory wedding where all your friends and family send you off in a huge showing of love and support.

all in all, i'm just grateful for everything on the wedding day and all the incredible people in my life. through all the ups and downs that are sure to come in life and marriage, i know i will be able to draw happiness from my memories of our wedding for the rest of my life.