It surprises me a little to say it, but it's been a month since I started looking for a job. I am a newbie to the job hunt, so it has definitely been a learning process and an exercise in humility. In my optimistic moments, it's really exciting to read through job postings and imagine myself in those positions. It’s a little exhilarating to think that I could be living anywhere in a matter of months. But in my darker moments, there is so much uncertainty and self-doubt.
I used to be one of those people who would pose the unfortunate question to full-time job hunters: "So...what do you DO every day?" (Horrible, right?) When I asked this question, it was sincerely from a place of curiosity and naïveté, partly because I wondered what a job hunt consisted of on a daily basis, but mostly because I was jealous of all the free time to pursue new hobbies and a healthy lifestyle. With this question, I was just interested in how my friends' lives had changed since finishing school, and how they were adjusting. Now that I'm on the receiving end of such inquiries, it is only because I remember how innocent my own intentions were, that I am able to stave off feelings of defensiveness from not having found a job yet. What do I DO every day? I look up companies, browse listings for jobs that I don't qualify for, and mostly waste a lot of time feeling inadequate about my skills set and uncertain about the future.
I think the problem is that I just don’t quite know what job I’m looking for, which makes hunting for it that much harder. One would think that the process of getting a PhD would carve out a career path, but I find myself browsing “alternative” options, trying to find something that speaks to me. After looking through ~100 job postings, including jobs in management consulting, business development, consumer products, and non-profits/foundations, I think I have settled back down to looking along the more traditional lines of “product development engineer” or “scientist” at a medical device or biotech company. Why has that taken me so long, when I know those are the types of jobs my fellow PhD graduates have been getting? I’m not sure. I guess it’s just something I had to come to on my own.
I have not really gone down the “using your network” route yet. Yes, I know that’s how everyone gets a job these days. Indeed I have been told that many many times. I just needed to take some time to think about what I wanted before I went around asking other people to help me find it. But yes, it is time…
Other than the job hunt, my daily life is generally quite good. Newlywed life is great (it’s been 3 months already!) and I’ve had the chance to catch up with friends pretty regularly. I’ve stalled a bit on working out and getting fit, but I’m slowly getting back into that. This week I’ve been doing a free 7-day trial at Sol Yoga, a local yoga studio. Next week I have plans to do a 7-day trial at 24 hour fitness. In other words, I have all the free time that I always wanted. I just need to find the motivation to maximize it the way I always said I would.
1 comments:
As the poster child for "what do you DO all day?" (at least, if you ask my mom... sometimes...) I've come to realize that life just cycles around a lot. Some days you can look back on your day and marvel at everything you got done, other days it seems as if the sun rose and set and nothing happened except there's less food in your fridge than there was in the morning. (Or less cash in your wallet.) Feeling bad about yourself is quite the time-suck, it's true, but the "got nothing done" days can happen even when you're feeling okay! That's just the way it works.
As for feeling uncertain and inadequate, I know it's hard, but try not to let those negative thoughts take over! After all, if you're anything like me, even after you get a job those thoughts will still dog you ("omg, I knew it, everyone else here has more experience than I do, I'd better prove myself or they'll see how much my skills suck," etc). In other words, if you're unsure of yourself, merely getting a job won't immediately erase that mental place, so you might as well relax and just be present with the job search. :) I think finding a perfect-fit job right away is special for anyone, and in this economy I'm sure it's even rarer. The right thing will find you, I believe that. :) If you can, take your time... you're never going to be in this just-out-of-school-no-job-yet place ever again, probably, so breathe into it! You're lovely and smart and capable! You'll be okay! :) *hugs*
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